Goodbye Old friend. Goodbye.

Ok so knowing someone you called a friend for so damn long, went behind your back and talked shit publicly.. ( more then once). And then in a drunk fit. texts you at 2:30 in the fucking morning saying they are sorry and want you to forgive them and to move on from this. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!?!?!?!  

The fucking first time you talked shit i stopped talking to you. I wasn't fake. I dropped you out of my life right then and there.... I don't need fucking stupid people in my life.

 Ok.. what i did was not wrong. I was looking out for the child she has. That poor baby has nothing to do with any of this bullshit she puts him in. He cants say how he feels..  Did i talk shit about her NO!!.  Did i tell baby daddy because i hate her.. NO!!  I don't care if you are my best friend in the whole wide world and you are putting a child in danger then fuck you.. I'm gonna step in an say something to try and get that kid out of there... Hey i didn't call CPS did i?? No so fucking be grateful dammit..   And that "friend" you think you have... Well guess what, she is the bitch that was talking shit. She was the one calling you a bad mother. IN FRONT of black guy and beaner so i am not the only one that hear it...  your "friend" told me to call CPS.. but i didn't.. So  why don't you go call her a shit talking bitch... Ya you know who you are...   And when i call you BOTH druggies... that's what i meant... When you cant wait for your son to go to sleep until you HAVE to smoke a fucking bowl.. REALLY!!!   and who the fuck carries drugs around with them to sell them when you know your 2 year old is on your hip..  That's like asking the cops to arrest you and take your kid away... "hi I'm smart"  And when i call that "friend" of yours a druggie ... SHE HAS A PROBLEM... and even her family fucking knows it... when she can down a bottle of 20 pills in 2 days... Um well now let me see... I don't think that is a druggie no... never...  Are you fucking kidding me... 

To top off all of this you think we are gonna "work this out sooner then later".. Really??  Am i supposed to just forget you talked shit about me. Am i supposed to sit there and be your best fucking friend all over again  just because you said you were sorry... 2 FUCKING MONTHS AFTER IT ALL HAPPENED!!!!  No its not fucking happening.

I don't need people in my life that think they can just walk all over me.. If you pulled your head out of the drugs and the booze then maybe you would realize that guess what.. You have a good life if you just worked a little harder for it.  

Whats so sad is with me being a navy wife, its not easy to find a "real good" friend.. I HAD a real good friend in you. You knew me like no one else. We went through things together that brings people together... You throw that all away because you couldn't see i was being a friend. A friend that was looking out for your child when you weren't in the right mind too..  I was being the responsible adult in a childish situation..  Does it hurt that i lost a good friend to drugs.. Yes.. You cant stop the drugs long enough to see whats going around you.  Now OK. yes i used to be a really really big pot head... And every now and again i will smoke pot when im in the mood for it. The last time i smoked pot was in Feb. and that was in Vegas so i could sleep so i could party later that night. Is it something i need. No.. something i like once in a blue moon. yay.. But am i a druggie that needs/does it every day to live and get by.. NO... Now don't get me wrong. I have friends that smoke butt loads of pot. But will they do it in front of kids. NO.. Do they get up and go to work. YES... do they take care of what they need to take care of before going and hit that bong. YES!!!. That is called being responsible... 

So finish my mild little blow up here...  Think before you act. And if someone does something you think is wrong and hurts you. Why not go to THEM and confront the problem head on. Talking shit behind someones back is gonna  make you look like the fool and in the end , loss friends.  So think before you act. Look at things in someone Else's eyes. Maybe you will see that they were only trying to help.

The new start

Alright then. A new blog. A new blog to tell you about the wonderful joys of my life. This is going swimmingly. lol 

So the reason i wanted to write this blog is because I want people to see me. The real me. with no edits about what i write or what i think.  Finally freedom. 

So about about my life(for anyone who doesn't know already). I am happily married to my best friend. To the sexiest Sailor i have ever meet, Chad. He is my rock and shoulder. He is my cigarette to my flapjack. My bong to his blintz. I love him with all my heart. I couldn't ask for anyone better in my life.  He is a United States Navy Sailor. We are station in San Diego, CA right now. I have been all the way over to Japan with him. Traveled and seen some wonderful things. I am glad we are back in CA (born and raised baby.. So~Cal for live!!!!!!!!!!!)  We have a little over 2 years late out here and then we have to chose where we go next. 

In  16 days will have been married for 3 years. I know that doesn't seem like long at all to you guys but to a Sailor and his Navy Wife it seems like forever.  I wont take back a minute of it though. I love growing with him and learning new things everyday. I love being able to kiss him and smell him and just touch him. Its something you don't realize you miss until its sitting in the middle of the ocean.  No kids(yet). I'm trying to get into college but the Navy is taking so freaking long to get the paperwork started its driving me bat shit crazy. I will get there one day.  I have really good friends in my life. Anna(best friend besides Chad). Love her to death. She gets me, she knows where im coming from even if no one else does, she understand that stupid shit i say and says loads herself. We get along great to put it easier. I care about her so much. I cant wait to meet her son Jack (jack jack). Then there is Rochelle. We meet in high school and even tho we lost touch for a few years we are still friends to this day. Love that girl.. She is a funny and slow (say that in a nice way) as i am. Love her..  That was just to name a few so now don't freak out.. I love all my friends.. just don't feel like breaking my hand naming you all.. so suck it..

Ok so i have come to realize that i was never fat, just thicker in some areas.. But now im just big. Like really big. Like i don't want to look in the mirror big. Yes i get it. "no Victoria your not fat" but really and truly people. I'm not skinny and im not huge so im just big ok. Yes i understand also that im the only one to blame and that can do anything about it. So guess what. I am.  I'm damned and determined to look good again.. If not "good" then better then what i am now. I want my husband to look at me and be like "damn". I want to be able to go shopping and not feel stupid every time i try on clothes.   I will be "skinny" again. I will do it all on my own. I will work hard and play even harder. I will not go cop out like everyone else and get plastic surgery to make myself look good.  Now don't get me wrong, i don't care if you have had plastic surgery im just saying if you wanna claim you being that skinny is by hard work... Fuck you. Don't go get tummy tucks and lipo and then say you "worked hard" Fuck you.  As i was saying. I'm gonna work hard and its gonna happen soon.  Just wish i had more support. Meaning as in getting up and going to the gym. I hate doing it at first and wont be the first to step up and say hey lets do this but once im there, im all for it. Just wanna kick chads ass in to gear to make him realize i need his support and he needs me too.. The boy needs to lose some pounds by June..  Just ready to have a work out buddy and a trainer is way to damn expensive these days.. 

Now please do go and chew my ass because i say that im big. First step to anything is admitting you have the problem. So first step complete. Next step, hard fucking work.