So over the last few months since this new year started, life has sucked.. But had its good days...
My idol. The women i looked up to. Admired. Passed away. She was strong. amazing. loving to anyone she met. She would tell you straight and didn't know any other way. She taught me to never give up and to never forget that the shitty things that happen make us who we are. I cant wait to show her all that ive come through.. I know she'll be so damn proud of me.
I love you Tazma... I will always love you...
You will always be remember for that beauty inside you. I love you..
After a serve battle with a horrible cancer, i lost my grandpa (non blood). He was the hard core marine. Loving. Caring. Stoned. :-) Grandpa.. Yes he throw rocks. Yes he yelled. But he loved like no one i have ever seen before.. He was a wonderful Father to his three girls and his son that he lost to soon. He was a great grandfather to his grandkids.. And a great husband to his wife. He will be so truely missed.
OORAH!!!
Im so glad March is over and i haven't lost anyone this month. I thought i was gonna lose my Lola bug, but she pulled through. She is a strong fighter. She has kept making good prograse. She still isn't 100% but she is for sure a lot better then what she was.. She is my lola girl..
But i cant kept my mind from what could happen. I just have to wait and see. Time will tell where we go with her. I hate to say it but it might just end up with putting her down. I dont find it fair to keep her alive when this isn't the life i wanted for her. She is only 7 months old and this is not what she should have to go through.. I hurts me yes. But it is for her..
Most of you all know that this coming summer Chad will not be here. Yes i know its coming up faster then i thought it would. But its right around the corner.. I think im ready for it.. As for my mind being ready. HELL NO... I just have so much going on i cant even think to go through all of it alone.. What if i have to put down lola all alone.. Even the thought of it makes me sick.. I cant do it..
I know im strong and i know i can make it through more then most but i have feeling this year is gonna be my hardest. Im gonna need my friends and family this year for sure.
Well Most of you all know that i have a lot of health problems. Well they get worse. They did a ultra sound on my chest. They found cysts (at least 30 in each breast) that could be cancerist. Soooooo I talked to a plastic surgeon today. Im hoping the military sees that i need this. I need to get this shit off my chest and move on with my life.. Also my doctor suggest i go up for the lapband.. Im thinking of doing it.. I know i can lose weight but i will always have weight issues in the future that i would like to get under control right now... I want to run around with my kids...
Ill let you know more when i know if the military approves me for it or not... But as of right now im trying for it....
Well i bit of good news. Captain Pine Cone is our newest member to the family... He is toy fox terrier... He is so uber cute... He is snuggling on my lap right now while im writing this... Soooo cute.. I love him... He is 7 months old as well. He is so full of energy. I got him so lola could have a play mate. So fatty Dannel could lose weight...LOL (still not happening..) He fits prefect into our little family... AND NO he is not a stupid Mexican rat dog... LOL
And i end with pictures of my new love...
